On History
"...This human mind wrote history, and this must read it. The Sphinx must solve her own riddle. If the whole of history is in one man, it is all to be explained from individual experience. There is a relation between the hours of our life and the centuries of time..." - Emerson
Out with the Old
I have two postcard-like sheets of paper with sayings and cute designs on them which are framed and have been sitting on shelves for years. One says "protect this girl from the storms of life," and the other says "every girl is my sister." I used to love these sayings. I thought they were cute and inspirational. I thought they were important to me, so I kept them around.
Now, having looked beyond the memories with them and how long I have had them, I have decided I must let them go. I disagree with they say. I do not want to be protected from the storms of life. What is life without the storms? I say bring on the heartbreaks and failures, the broken bones and stuggles. That is where life is. In the storms. I know now I will get through. I know now how to ask for help and what to do to get out of the rain. I have been given tools, and I will use them.
Also, every girl is not my sister. It sounds too cliche. Too ideal. Too religious. I am a different person than I used to be. I have realized that there are just going to be those people who do not like you and who you do not like back. Sometimes, yeah, I can see that maybe in crisis and world disaster we all need to be family. But you can not be best friends with everyone.
I am replacing my frames with new quotes! They better illustrate who I am and what I think today.
Now, having looked beyond the memories with them and how long I have had them, I have decided I must let them go. I disagree with they say. I do not want to be protected from the storms of life. What is life without the storms? I say bring on the heartbreaks and failures, the broken bones and stuggles. That is where life is. In the storms. I know now I will get through. I know now how to ask for help and what to do to get out of the rain. I have been given tools, and I will use them.
Also, every girl is not my sister. It sounds too cliche. Too ideal. Too religious. I am a different person than I used to be. I have realized that there are just going to be those people who do not like you and who you do not like back. Sometimes, yeah, I can see that maybe in crisis and world disaster we all need to be family. But you can not be best friends with everyone.
I am replacing my frames with new quotes! They better illustrate who I am and what I think today.
Changing Your Mind
"Speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradicts everything you said today."
-Emerson, Self-Reliance
I agree. Change can be either good or bad, but not changing, when it contradicts a person's beliefs is always bad. I think. That is how I feel today anyway.
-Emerson, Self-Reliance
I agree. Change can be either good or bad, but not changing, when it contradicts a person's beliefs is always bad. I think. That is how I feel today anyway.
Love
Conversation from the movie Meet Joe Black. The father is acted by Anthony Hopkins. So, if you can, imagine these words in his voice....it's so much better!
FATHER: "It's not what you say about Drew, it's what you don't say...I want you to get swept away, I want you to levitate, I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dirvish."
DAUGHTER: "Oh that's all?"
FATHER: "Yeah. Be deliriously happy. At least leave yourself open to be. I know its a cornball thing, but love is passion. Obsession. Someone you can't live without. I say fall head over heals. Find someone you can love like crazy and will love you the same way back. And how do you find em? Well, you forget your head and you listen to your heart. Cause the truth is honey there's no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all. but you have to try. Cause if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."
DAUGHTER: "Bravo."
FATHER: "Oh, you're tough."
DAUGHTER: (sigh.) "I'm sorry. Okay, give it to me again, but the short version this time."
FATHER : "K. Stay open. Who knows, Lightning could strike!"
FATHER: "It's not what you say about Drew, it's what you don't say...I want you to get swept away, I want you to levitate, I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dirvish."
DAUGHTER: "Oh that's all?"
FATHER: "Yeah. Be deliriously happy. At least leave yourself open to be. I know its a cornball thing, but love is passion. Obsession. Someone you can't live without. I say fall head over heals. Find someone you can love like crazy and will love you the same way back. And how do you find em? Well, you forget your head and you listen to your heart. Cause the truth is honey there's no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all. but you have to try. Cause if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."
DAUGHTER: "Bravo."
FATHER: "Oh, you're tough."
DAUGHTER: (sigh.) "I'm sorry. Okay, give it to me again, but the short version this time."
FATHER : "K. Stay open. Who knows, Lightning could strike!"
The more you learn the less you know.
It seems the more I read about or am told about a particular issue, person, work of art, etc. the less I know about it. For example, every time I discover a family secret, I realize just how little I know about my family's history.
It is as if learning one new fact or one new idea or a new point of view just opens up a world of unexplored territory and other possibilities. It is like I can see an object in the distance, and I make the journey towards it. Walking closer. And finally I get there. I think I am at the end. This object is against a wall and there is no where else to go and I can see what it is. I take a close look at it. Put my face up to it. Taste it. Then I pull away and look back up and a vast field appears behind it. The wall is gone. There never was a wall, but it took getting up close to see farther ahead.
Learning allows you to realize all that has yet to be discovered and thought about and discussed.
Learning causes us to question things we previously felt certain about. Learning causes what we think are facts to become wabbly. Answers become questions.
It seems the more I read about or am told about a particular issue, person, work of art, etc. the less I know about it. For example, every time I discover a family secret, I realize just how little I know about my family's history.
It is as if learning one new fact or one new idea or a new point of view just opens up a world of unexplored territory and other possibilities. It is like I can see an object in the distance, and I make the journey towards it. Walking closer. And finally I get there. I think I am at the end. This object is against a wall and there is no where else to go and I can see what it is. I take a close look at it. Put my face up to it. Taste it. Then I pull away and look back up and a vast field appears behind it. The wall is gone. There never was a wall, but it took getting up close to see farther ahead.
Learning allows you to realize all that has yet to be discovered and thought about and discussed.
Learning causes us to question things we previously felt certain about. Learning causes what we think are facts to become wabbly. Answers become questions.
Power of Ideas
"We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because man can fail. Four hundred years later, an idea can still change the world." - from V for Vendetta
One of my top ten favorite movies, this film is about revolution and change and overcoming fear. It is about standing up for what you believe to be right and good. It is about the power of ideas and the power of the masses. "People should not be affraid of their government. The government should be affraid of its people" - V for Vendetta
Which reminds me of "We are many. They are few" - from Children of God by Mary Doria Russell. "Children of God" is the sequel to "The Sparrow." Both are my favorite books. In many ways, "Children of God" is also about revolution, change, and the decisions people make based on what they think is right in a particular moment.
One of my top ten favorite movies, this film is about revolution and change and overcoming fear. It is about standing up for what you believe to be right and good. It is about the power of ideas and the power of the masses. "People should not be affraid of their government. The government should be affraid of its people" - V for Vendetta
Which reminds me of "We are many. They are few" - from Children of God by Mary Doria Russell. "Children of God" is the sequel to "The Sparrow." Both are my favorite books. In many ways, "Children of God" is also about revolution, change, and the decisions people make based on what they think is right in a particular moment.
Year off or No?
Do I have the time to spend a year not doing something I love? I do not think so. You never know when your time will be up. As the Anne Lamott quote I love so much says "now is all we have," and I truly agree with her words. The time is now.
I have been debating whether or not to take a year "off" before heading to graduate school. Idealy, I would find the time this summer to take the GRE, apply to schools, and get into the one that I want. With time and money and other circumstances, this is somewhat unrealistic. So, I would use a year off to become a more competitive candidate and enhance my resume. I would continue studying the languages I need, work, maybe volunteer, and would have the appropriate research paper that I do not have now.
But will I enjoy this year? Do I need to? Should I settle and just try to get into a less difficult school? What if I spend this year and accomplish everything as planned and still do not get into the schools I want (which is likely)?
I am frightened by all the possibilities and opportunities. At this point, I can do almost anything I want. I am worried I will end up choosing a path that I do not love and enjoy.
One thing is for sure....I love school. I love learning. The importance of education to me is up there with family. If I had the choice, I would never work and just go to school forever (I know now I can not actually do that. I must give back to the world. Serve others.). So....I know what I love. That is a place to start, right?
I have been debating whether or not to take a year "off" before heading to graduate school. Idealy, I would find the time this summer to take the GRE, apply to schools, and get into the one that I want. With time and money and other circumstances, this is somewhat unrealistic. So, I would use a year off to become a more competitive candidate and enhance my resume. I would continue studying the languages I need, work, maybe volunteer, and would have the appropriate research paper that I do not have now.
But will I enjoy this year? Do I need to? Should I settle and just try to get into a less difficult school? What if I spend this year and accomplish everything as planned and still do not get into the schools I want (which is likely)?
I am frightened by all the possibilities and opportunities. At this point, I can do almost anything I want. I am worried I will end up choosing a path that I do not love and enjoy.
One thing is for sure....I love school. I love learning. The importance of education to me is up there with family. If I had the choice, I would never work and just go to school forever (I know now I can not actually do that. I must give back to the world. Serve others.). So....I know what I love. That is a place to start, right?
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