Quote of the Day - listening

"Listening is loving." - from the movie Hector and the Search for Happiness

Hector, a psychiatrist, is complimented by a dying woman for his gift of listening.

Oprah's Lifeclass: Deepak asks, "What Are Your Unique Skills?"

The fifth question Deepak Chopra encourages us to ask ourselves in order to create a soul profile is "what are my unique skills."

I was recently told, "you are the most hopeful person I know." I had not realized it was hope that I had been feeling, but now I see it and appreciate it as a gift. I manage to find hope through any situation. I always return to it, especially regarding matters of love and faith.

"If you can find hope, you might find faith."
              - Sister Delores Hart

I want meaning, I seek meaning, I find meaning. I inspire others to find meaning in their own experiences. I am good at crying, and I enjoy making other people cry - as horrible as that sounds. When people cry it makes me believe they are in a deeper place in their minds or hearts that they do not normally visit. I take pride in being able to cry over one well-written line, one note in a song, a commercial, an idea.

I am good at listening without judgement. People often come to me if not for advice, then to just have their story heard. In return, I am open and honest as often as possible. I see the good in people and choose to trust them. I am not afraid to tell people how much I care and how I feel about them. I can find good compliments to give. I am compassionate and empathetic and some say I can write well. Sometimes, I think I can (or have), too.

I am not skilled at improv, at giving speeches on the fly. I can't think of come-backs, witty one-liners, and I am not great at answering questions under pressure and without careful thought. I am not good at small talk. I am not patient. I am not good at simple math.

I am skilled at sending letters by mail or e-mail and brightening people's day in that way. I can inspire. I am good at reflecting and overthinking. I recognize good dancing, good movies, and good writing. I am good at finding quotations.

Sometimes it is easier to have someone else tell you what your unique skills are. This was one of the more difficult questions to answer.

What are your unique skills? What makes you different than everyone else? What can you do better than anyone else?

Oprah's Lifeclass/ Deepak Chopra: "What Sort of Contribution Do You Want to Make?"

The fourth question Deepak Chopra asks is "what sort of contribution do you want to make?" 



I would like to make financial contributions, whether I am giving money to a homeless person or donating to a political or humanitarian organization. Already, I give a small monthly donation to the American Red Cross, I send money to UNICEF every once in awhile, and I have given money to the Obama compaign. Eventually, I would like to give more. I would like to give back to Loyola University Chicago. If ever I win the lottery (yeah right!), I would give most to charity. I understand I can give to individuals, institutions, and organizations in ways unrelated to money by giving my time and using my skills to serve. I do hope to do this, too, but I would also like to make a greater financial contribution.

I would like to contribute by inspiring people to care, be better, give more. I think the whole world is bleeding, and I want to help individuals heal themselves so the world can be better. I wish I knew how to cure closed-mindedness and intolerance. People can change, so maybe some day I will figure out how I can contribute in this way.

I want to make a contribution that lasts. A contribution that spreads. I hope as people become better versions of themselves (something of which we are all capable) others are encouraged to do the same until the whole world is changed.

Oprah's Lifeclass: Deepak Asks "What Is Your Purpose In This Life?"

Tonight was Oprah's last Lifeclass episode of the season. All four teachers were brought together in Canada to teach their best lesson on gratitude. But before getting into what I discovered tonight, it is time to brainstorm an answer to the third of Deepak Chopra's seven questions towards creating a "soul profile" which was discussed on a previous episode.

"What is your purpose in this life?"

My purpose in this life is to love, to learn, to give, and to be better.

It is my shortest and simplest answer. Maybe I just have yet to discover my purpose and this is all I can come up with, or maybe this it is the truth and the reasons we are all here. People seem to realize and fulfill their purpose to different degrees, reaching different numbers of people or getting recognized in different ways. People might take longer to realize their purpose. Some live longer, do it all quicker. Regardless, it all can be narrowed down to a handful of good things. I need to love, learn, give, and be better to the best of my ability. It is up to me to determine how much to love, how much to pull and absorb from personal and global experiences and events, how much to give back and give of myself and share, and it is up to me to decide to turn inward to examine my being and make my self better, more tolerant, less judgemental, more grateful and kind, healthy, and happy. That is my purpose in this life, for now - let us see where it takes me...

Oprah's Lifeclass: "What Do You Want?"

The second of seven questions that Oprah and Deepak Chopra encourage us to ask ourselves in developing a "soul profile" is "what do you want?" In order to pull out and discover what I yearn and ache for, I close my eyes to focus on the specific question and let the words and ideas surface and become my answer.

I want health. I want to find the right person, to find true love. I want to connect with someone, the person with whom I choose to spend my life, on the deepest possible level. I want that connection to be intimate, intelligent, emotional, and a connection of great friendship, empathy, understanding, and trust. I want to be changed. I want to see myself reflected in another. I want to live simply. I want to continue to travel. I want to let education be forever a significant part of my life.  I want to complete good works of writing, not necessarily to publish. I want to change people's lives by changing their days with my words. I want to help people live in greater self-awareness, happiness, and depth. I want more. I want to read more. I want to be more spiritual. I want to live to the point of tears quite literally and on a daily basis. I want to always see meaning in the small and seemingly insignificant as well as the big. I want to develop closer relationships to people I already consider close. I want to push myself to become an expert in something I love.

I do not want silence.

In order to answer these questions, I am finding it easiest to make a list, think simply, think deeply. I am afraid to lose my answer and get lost in fancy language, trying to make it sound in writing more than what it is.

"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." - Alice Walker

I listened to a webinar called "Calling in the One," and it forced me to take part responsibility for my unsuccessful relationships. By replaying moments from my past and listening to my fears and the excuses I give for not having found the One, I discovered a pattern.

Where and how did I give up power in these relationships? I constantly make myself too available. I am too often the friend, putting my concerns and feelings second in order to "help" the guy I am dating. I always ask, "am I too much?" "What did I do wrong?" "Why are all the guys I fall for unavailable or not ready?"

Someone once asked me,"What role do you play in the movie of your life?" I answered, "the good friend." Even as the words came out I realized the absurdity of my answer. "Shouldn't you play the leading role in your own life?" he said.

"Our whole life is a meditation of our last decision - the only decision that matters." From Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton

Also,

"Hence the things that we love tell us what we are." (22)

Listen to your heart-whispers. - Sri Chinmoy. This was on a sugar-packet I picked up from a local restaurant in Roscoe Village

Uniting Through Grief

"The closest bonds we will ever know are the bonds of grief." - McCarthy, All the Pretty Horses

I think of September 11th. I think of the way communities, large and small, unite and come together in times of difficulty and tragedy.

From Eat, Pray, Love, a dialogue between Richard from Texas and "Groceries," as he calls her.


"I know you feel awful. But your life's changing. That's not a bad thing. And you're in a perfect place for it. Surrounded by grace."
"I thought I was over him but .... I love him."
"Big deal. So you fell in-love with someone."
"But I really miss him."
"So miss him. Send him some light and love everytime you think of him, and drop it.... If you could ugh... clear up all that space in your mind that you're using to obsess over this guy and your failed marriage, you'd have a vaccum with a doorway. And do you know what the universe will do with that doorway?... Rush in! God. Rush in! Fill you with more love than you've ever dreamed of..... Groceries, I think you have the capacity some day to love the whole world."

Soul Mate

I have been considering the idea of "soul mate," and I have decided, for now, that a soul mate may not be the person you see every day or the person you spend your life with or marry. And a person can have more than one soul mate in a lifetime. They come and go but remain always a part of you. The idea of a soul mate does not seem to be about compatability or who you get along with or with whom you can spend your days. Instead, it seems to be more about who understands you better than anyone else. And you understand them in return and accept them for the person they are. A soul mate is a person who sees right through you, gets you, sees you and recognizes your value more than you are able to recognize it yourself. Just to have met them and know they exist is enough.

Just Haven't Met You Yet

I might have to wait, I'll never give up, I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck, wherever you are, whenever its right, you'll come out of nowhere and into my life, And I know that we can be so amazing, And baby your love is gonna change me. My favorite part of Michael Buble's "Haven't met you yet" The song brings me hope and makes me smile.

Romantics

• From the movie The Romantics.
• "Romanticism/Romantics" refers to the literary, artistic, and intellectual movement of the late 18th century. The dialogue below refers specifically to English Romantic poets like John Keats and Lord Byron.
  
• Dialogue between a guy and girl who are in-love with each other. Yet it is the night before his wedding to another woman. The group of friends in the movie call themselves the "Romantics" and their purpose of being together is to inspire each other.
  
• A descent film, though I really dislike Katie Holmes
  

Guy: "The Romantics weren't writing about love, they were writing about religion."

Girl: "Then I don't know the difference."

Do we not talk about love in the same way we talk about religion? With the same emotion and even the same language? Does it not require the same dedication, faith, etc. Are love and religion, in a sense, the same? The girl in the dialogue implies that she interprets the Romantic poetry she has read as being about love. She applies it to her own life. She feels and is effected by the poetry. It inspires her.

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life... they tear down your walls...But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah..."
-Eat, Pray, Love

There is more to this quote, but I will add it in later. To a certain extent, I agree with what it says.

Love

Conversation from the movie Meet Joe Black. The father is acted by Anthony Hopkins. So, if you can, imagine these words in his voice....it's so much better!

FATHER: "It's not what you say about Drew, it's what you don't say...I want you to get swept away, I want you to levitate, I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dirvish."

DAUGHTER: "Oh that's all?"

FATHER: "Yeah. Be deliriously happy. At least leave yourself open to be. I know its a cornball thing, but love is passion. Obsession. Someone you can't live without. I say fall head over heals. Find someone you can love like crazy and will love you the same way back. And how do you find em? Well, you forget your head and you listen to your heart. Cause the truth is honey there's no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all. but you have to try. Cause if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."

DAUGHTER: "Bravo."

FATHER: "Oh, you're tough."

DAUGHTER: (sigh.) "I'm sorry. Okay, give it to me again, but the short version this time."

FATHER : "K. Stay open. Who knows, Lightning could strike!"

Butterflies

"Some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies." -Quote from a Sex and the City episode.

This quote often comes to mind when I am in a new relationship. It is so simple. Why settle? Love is about passion and excitement. Whether or not you experience anything similar to butterflies in your stomach is a good way to determine right away if a relationship is at least headed in a good direction.

Naturally, however, butterflies fade as comfort grows and time passes. But should it? Although the excitement may not be as often, should it not still exist from time to time?